thought of giving up... but i don't think i'm ready for such giving up... pls, give me a sign...
on the positive side, i'm happy with how my so-called "career" has been doing... just so lucky to have a boss who's really been so supportive from the very beginning... keeping my fingers crossed here... sana talaga...
had our christmas party in bennigans.. as usual, with ex-officemates in cms... kakawala talaga ng tensyon pag nakakasama ko sina ate malaine, yen and the rest of the gang... parang wala nalang ginawa kundi magtawanan, magtawanan at magtawanan... sana lagueng ganito... sana lagueng masaya...
a lot to think about...
a lot to smile about...
and a lot to love about...
may this coming year be another good year for everyone... merry christmas and a happy new year!
is what I have to practice more in this complicated and wobbly life we’re living in... where emotions are not much considered anymore, where every living individual is measured by his/her toughness.
Sigh… it’s really tough to be tough.
the bright side of receiving emails from your friends at work (though you sometimes think they are just SPAM...)
"Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent outof shape."
"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." -Antonie de Saint-Exupery
"If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay." - Sex and the City; Quote No. 1
"You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship." Sex and the City; Quote No. 51
"When it's time to let go, let go." Sex and the City; Quote No. 69
"Ang naunang magalit ang may karapatang magalit. Pag naunahan ka na ng galit niya, tumahimik ka na lang muna. " - from How to Control your Emotions
"try and try until you die, but if you died at least you tried" from Yen's Sala-ula-wikain
"aanhin pa ang damo, kung shabu ang trip ng kabayo" galing pa rin kay Yen-Yen (love this one...)
current mood: yet to be confirmed current desire: new book to read and new movie to watch (flybook pa rin... tsaka voice recorder with mp3...) current music: the corrs (missin' toni so much... =( current motto: to see is to believe. current plan: to open a new savings a/c; then go to Florence. (as if this will work out... yeah, this will work out... i'm being optimistic on this one...)
"in the midst of winter, i finally learned that there was in me an invisible summer..."
Why do you build me up buttercup baby just to let me down?
…I don’t know what I’m thinking right now. But I want to blog. Yeah right.
Just want to post a song that’s been bugging my head for almost 2 weeks now. Time will reveal…
What can I do?To make you feel secureRemove all your doubtsSo that you'll know for sure thatYou're the apple of my eye girlFulfillment of my dreamsTime, will show the valueOf just what you mean to meMore precious than silverMore precious than diamond rings orAnything that I can give youIt wouldn't mean a thingIf you didn't have my love beside youThere to guide you throughWell it is good to know you doI know just how you feelBut this time love's for realIn time it will revealThat special love that's deep inside of usWill all reveal in timeI tell you I love youBut you won't believe it's trueMore precious than silverMore precious than diamond rings orAnything that I can give youIt wouldn't mean a thingIf you didn't have my love beside youThere to guide you throughWell it is good to know you doI know just how you feelBut this time love's for realIn time it will revealThat special love that's deep inside of usWill all reveal in timeI know just how you feelBut this time love's for realIn time it will revealThat special love that's deep inside of usWill all reveal in timeI know just how you feelBut this time love's for realIn time it will revealThat special love that's deep inside of usWill all reveal in timeOh, that special love in usWill all reveal in timeSo let you're little heart lay down my body
… just finished reading “Eleven Minutes” of Paulo Coelho last night. Comment: he thinks and feels like a woman. Simply amazing. … had 2 separate dinners with my 2 ex-bosses recently. … celebrated dad’s birthday last Aug. 12. Happy birthday dad! Love u so much… … received my salary increase this month. So happy! … it’s yen’s birthday last Aug. 10. Happy birthday bella! I still love you though you forgot to invite us on your bday celebration… hahaha! Joke. … got a call from Doha Asian Games and they’re asking me again to participate in the West Asian Games that’s gonna be held on Dec. 2-10, 2005. I think I’ll be assigned on MEDIA work… yey!!! My dream will finally come true… and tonight’s my orientation for this volunteer job… isn’t it exciting? I’m excited. Wooohhooo!!!! … Love moves in mysterious ways… yeah right. Whatever that means, and sad to say, I think I’m not interested on love anymore. Huh? Things are getting complicated… and just couldn’t handle the situation well… bobo lang talaga ko when it comes to love. Period. … on work, nothing much has been happening lately since all are on vacation… nothing exciting, nothing unusual, nothing to look forward to… well, I think I still have to wait for next week… ayayayayay… god, please help me. … current desire: a flybook. Waaaaa!!! I need to have a flybook!!! Lalo na magkaka-ADSL na kami sa house in just a few days… yey! Isn’t it amazing? A flybook and an ADSL… it simply goes well together… download anyone? Hahaha! =)
… I think I’m happy. I should be happy, otherwise I’m gonna go insane. J’ai me ma vie! (I love my life!)
Before I end this up, just want to share with you some Italian phrases, which I just recently learned from one of my Italian colleague who’s now based in KSA.
“ciao!” (hello! Hi!) “come sta” (how are you?) “io sto bene, grazie, tu?” (I’m ok, thanks, and u?) “hhhmm… lavoro tutto il giorno, non mai tempo per rilassami…” (hhmmm… I’m working every day, I don’t have time to take a rest…) “bene… come te, io lavoro tutto il giorno… non mai tempo tempo per me stassa..” (ok… just like you, I also work everyday… I don’t have time for myself…) “a presto!” (see you soon!) “si centiamo…” (talk to you later…) “tu sei molto dolce…” (you are very sweet…) “mi insegni qualche parola in italyano?” (can you teach me some words in italian?)
just couldn't get tired of listening to maroon 5 cd... my national anthem before going to work... whenever i'm depressed (which i am actually right now...) whenever i'm high... down and low... just couldn't get enough of it...
"there is nothing left to say to you that you wanna hear that you wanna know i think i should go the things i've done are way too shameful... and i have done it so wrong treated you bad strung you along oh shame on myself i don't know how i got so tangled up..."
(must've been too late for this man to realize what he would be missin'... do you think a guy like this should be given a second chance? aarrgghh!!! too late man... too late... a girl's love and patience has it's limitations... don't push her to the limit coz you might just regret it in the end... when she says it's over, it's really over... damn!)
"fumbling through your dresser drawer, forgot what i was looking for try to guide me in the right direction making use of all this time keeping everything inside close me eyes and listen to you cry i'm lifting you up i'm letting you down i'm dancing till dawn i'm fooling around i'm not giving up i'm making your love this city's made us crazy and we must get out"
--MUST GET OUT--
(just want to devote this song to somebody whom i couldn't... never mind... it doesn't matter... i hate myself... for crying out loud! i'm hurting myself again... well, if love means getting hurt then i'd rather not love anymore... guess i couldn't live up to that statement... delete. i just want to love somebody. why is it so hard to find a true love and be happy at the same time?!!! this city's made me crazy and i must get out!!!!)
"i don't mind spending everyday out of your corner in the pouring look for the girl with the broken smile ask her if she wants to stay awhile and she will be loved she will be loved"
--SHE WILL BE LOVED--
(hope so... *sigh* that i will be loved the way i wanted to be loved...)
"and does it make you sad to find yourself alone and does it make you mad to find that i have grown i'll bet it hurts so bad to see the strength that i have shown... you do not know how much this hurts me to say these things that i don't want to say but i have to say them anyway i would do anything to end your suffering but you would rather walk away"
--NOT COMING HOME--
(sweet revenge? nah... coz even though how hard you hide your sadness and face the world with so much strength, you will always feel the hurt, the pain... and nobody could heal it not unless you let go of this hate, revenge and doubt you have in your heart... let go... and love...)
...love, love, love... why do i keep on talking about this four letter word if it's just making me crazy... i am sad today, sad tomorrow and will be sad the next day. if only i could shut my world... from people who keeps on hurting me... intentionally and unintentionally... i would have definitely done that!
i'm stressed... mind, heart and soul.
s.p... "s.p..cial" thanks to ate malaine for giving me this amazing cd...
... hard times, difficulty, misfortune. have you been to adversity lately?
we all experience adversity all the time. nobody could escape from experiencing this so-called happiness wrecker even if we try to avoid it... even if everything seems to be perfect...
at work... this is where i experience difficulty most of the time. dealing with officemates sometimes could be so exhausting especially if they are uncooperative, impatient and talks as if they knew everything. dealing with your boss could even result to a more tiring situation because you just have to perfect everything you do to please him... otherwise, you know what will happen next. telephone calls, fax messages, unending requests, meetings - daily routine which has become part of your system already. it's good that i don't smoke coz i easily get tensed and nervous everytime i have to deal with a particular work that requires full attention on an urgent basis. i hate deadlines. i hate deadlines. i hate deadlines. however, the weird thing about me is that i find it more rewarding if i have tons and tons of work. why? of course, this is the only way you could get an acknowledgement, incentive or even a promotion! but nah... it will always depend on which type of boss you have and the company you're working with... i may say that i love working with my boss (though he could really be bossy sometimes) and i love the company i'm working with (GE - Imagination at Work... yeah right!)... so what's the problem honey? hhmmm... though i'm perfectly well compensated, sometimes it's the pressure i just couldn't handle... but it made me tough. yeah... good choice of words. it made me tough.
on family matters... we shouldn't be experiencing adversity if it already involves the word "family" but ironic enough, sometimes, this is where hardship starts... misunderstanding, financial problem, relatives-related problem... these are just a few factor which ignites the so-called adversity within the family. it seems these problems will go on forever... but i'm glad that in our family, though there's always a problem, we never fail to fight for each other (though we also fight to each other... hehehe...). that's one good thing with adversity, it keeps the family strong, bonded and loved.
on friends and lovingly loved ones... friends will always be friends... it's the relationship we have with a certain person that results us from experiencing adversity. expect that there will always be hard times in a relationship... but, if it's bounded by trust, respect and love, i think anxiety will be less and problems will easily be solved. you love them right? so, just think of the love you have for them and everything will be alright... (whoa?! sounds nice but hard to do...)
... actually, my stand on these whole adversity thing is that there are reasons why things don't happen the way we expect it to happen. problems come but it always go... we could either be strong in the beginning but eventually becomes soft and weak as we deal with our hardships or we could be fragile at the same time but may become hard and bitter in the end. otherwise, we could also choose to accept these adversities wholeheartedly and try to respond in a way that could change us and become a better person... or these could also be just a certain transition, a change that we just have to positively welcome in our lives.